


An Irregular Dream

by saelium



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Comfort?, Hurt, M/M, Sad Johnny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-05
Updated: 2019-03-05
Packaged: 2019-11-12 08:04:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18007031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saelium/pseuds/saelium
Summary: Johnny wishes he could be here. Johnny wishes Kun was still here.





	An Irregular Dream

**1:01 A.M**

 

The clock on his phone displays.

 

Johnny couldn’t sleep, kept awake by the thoughts mulling over his head. The words “I miss him” endlessly repeating like a mantra inside his head. Like it was some sort of prayer to see him once again. 

He lies on his side as he clutches Blue on his arms. He couldn’t help but stare at the picture frame on his bedside stand, where, in it, is a photo of a man whose smile shines like the brightest sun, **_the brightest star_** , to have ever graced the sky. The brightest to have ever graced _his_ sky.

The man in the photo seems to stare back at him, with that smile of his, trying its best to comfort him.

 

  
_“I miss you.”_

 

  
A whimper comes out from his mouth. A tear falls down from his eye.

Johnny wishes that the moment he would close his eyes and he opens them once again, he’d find him sleeping right there, beside him, almost as if like _it was just any other day._

Johnny knows it’s impossible, Johnny knows it can’t be true. _But_ , **alas** , Johnny is a fool, and a fool always ignores the word impossible.

 

And so he closes his eyes, shutting off the world as everything turns dark. Everything, pitch black, like the hollow hole that his absence has left in his heart.

 

  
He wishes, **he prays** , _again_ , that even for just a moment, he could see him once more.

 

  
A few seconds of the world closed in darkness, he opens his eyes once again. The world still remains quiet, the faint rays of the moon, being the only light in the room as it shines through his window.

  
A resigned sigh escapes from his lips, chuckling at his stupidity.

 

 

“Well duh, of course, Johnny, what did you expect.”

 

 

It was a rhetorical question. A question whose answer Johnny already knows.

  
He sighs once more.

 

 

“What are you mumbling to yourself over there?”

 

 

 

 

Johnny stops.

 

 

 

 

 **That voice**. He knows that voice. He knows that fucking voice. He knows only one person in this world who has that voice.

And knowing the fact that he’s hearing it once again?

 

_It must be a dream. It must be fake._

 

It’s a funny thought though how the moment his wish was granted to him, his first thought was to question it. To never believe it.

So he tries to see, tries to look and see if he’s really there. If he’s really true.

 

Johnny could only gasp.

 

To say Johnny was shocked would be a severe understatement. There are no words that could describe what he is feeling right now, seeing him just sitting right beside him, with that goddamn megawatt smile of his, flashed upon his face.

He looks so ethereal, a soft glow emanating from his skin, making him look so astral, so... unreal, and yet, it feels so real.

 

“Kun! Babe! I-i... You’re here and just- please don’t leave me again. Please! Just please, promise me you’ll stay!”

 

It was all that Johnny could exclaim as he tries to fight the tears that tried to make it to his eyes.

  
_God does he sound pathetic._

  
Johnny scrambles as he gave him the tightest hug he has ever given anyone in his entire life. Desperation clawing through his veins as his heart, his mind, and his body, all scream at him to never let go. To never let him leave once more. Johnny wishes that if this is all just a dream, then _he never wants to wake up again._

 

 

Kun just stares at him in confusion.

 

 

He still looks as beautiful as ever. And Johnny couldn’t agree more. Kun still shined like he was the son of the brightest stars in the sky, a supernova exploding, blinding everyone in space, and like a quasar, whose luminosity leaves the entire universe, well-lit up in its wake.

Kun just keeps on smiling at him, even when shivers wracked his body as he tears up and cries on his shoulders, as his world crumbles, disbelieving and yet, still hoping. Kun would rub gentle fingers on his back, in his effort to calm Johnny down, as he continues to sob more and more quietly on his shoulder, until it was only tears flowing down his face, soiling his shirt, until the tears on Johnny’s face stop from finally going down.

 

  
“Of course Johnny I’ll never leave you.”

 

  
He says it, like it was just a matter of fact. That he’d really be here and stay with him, that he would be able to see him once again, completing the void in his heart, as he lights his world once again.

Everything would be back to normal!

  
**Normal.**

  
How Johnny longs for everything to be normal again.

  
The smile never seems to leave Kun’s face.

 

  
“Don’t worry babe, okay.”

 

  
Kun holds his hand tightly. It feels so _cold_. His hand feels so cold. There is something that Johnny couldn’t place right with the cold feeling, which Kun’s hands gave him, but it doesn’t really matter to him right now.

The only thing that matters here is Kun.

 

 

  
“I’ll always be right here with you.”

 

 

  
A small cry leaves Johnny’s lips. His words were so full and real and yet it felt empty, doesn’t know why it’s so empty when he knows that Kun never break his promises.

It was only after those words were said, that Johnny felt warm. That out of all the seconds he’d spent at this moment with him, it was only now that everything feels warm. Like he was being embraced by the soft rays of the morning sun. Something that only belonged to him, something that only he could give him.

 

Kun puts a hand on his head, and slowly made him lie his head down on his chest, and _he smiled_. He smiled a sad smile. A sad smile which Johnny couldn’t see, as the comfort of being in Kun’s embrace covered it all up.

 

  
“Now sleep. You’ll need it for tomorrow.”

 

  
Johnny sobs out a cry. He doesn’t want to sleep. He doesn’t want to let go of this man who’s holding him, to close his eyes and to never see him.

But Johnny is tired. Johnny could feel his eyes straining already just to keep it open. And he probably could’ve. He probably could stay awake and spend his whole night just talking with him.

 

It was almost like he read his mind, when he suddenly told him,

 

 

“Let’s just talk tomorrow, we have plenty of time together.” A cheerful tint to his voice which made Johnny hope for his words to be true.

 

  
_Let’s talk tomorrow._

 

  
Johnny wishes for tomorrow to come faster.

 

 

  
“Don’t worry, I’ll be here.”

 

 

  
Johnny still worries, but it’s slowly fading.

 

 

  
“I promise.”

 

 

Johnny trusts Kun, and will always trust him. So this time is no different. **He’ll wait here for Kun.**

 

 

“Now close your eyes.”

 

 

Kun ruffles his hair, and Johnny feels like he’s a child under him. Still held by his arms before he leaves a chaste kiss on his lips. A kiss that lasted for not longer than a second. A kiss that lasted shorter than how he wanted it.

 

 

“Goodnight, Youngho.”

 

 

Kun leaves a light kiss on his forehead.

 

It was like a charm. Like a magic spell. A magic spell that tells him everything will be alright, that everything will be fine, and that everything’s gonna be okay. That he has no need to worry, for he will always be there.

Johnny wants to believe it’s true, _and so he believed._

 

In his hazy half-awake state, Johnny could only chuckle at the thought. It’s so like Kun to leave him while reassuring him like this.

 

Johnny is tired, and he has found no reason as to why he should stay awake at all. Kun has promised him, and;

 

 

_He trusts him._

 

 

So Johnny goes to sleep, letting go of the eyes he kept on holding, finally letting himself slip off to dreamland.

 

Funny how that worked considering everything here felt like a dream.

 

But Johnny, cares no more, as he sleeps in the arms of the man he loves.

 

**1:01 AM**

 

The clock on his phone displays.

 

Johnny sleeps on his side, a lone tear falling from his right eyes, as he clutches Blue tightly on his arms.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I rewrote it cause I was dissatisfied with how short it was and just it felt so boring in my eyes. I didn't expect it to reach 1.4k words though considering this had only 430 words originally.
> 
> Anyway, I really hope you all will like this still :(
> 
> thank you for reading!  
> leave comments or kudos if you liked it. ♡


End file.
